New Beginnings; Dragging ourselves out of Ourselves

As the year winds down, we all develop and plan for our New Years resolution.  Some of us even wager against the day we will break such resolutions.  Regardless of whether you are betting for or against yourself, the end result varies on only one little detail that gets in  our way.  Ourselves.

Yes, the one person who can make all of our dreams come true, or the one person who stands in our way.  Sometimes life can be rewarding and in spite of ourselves, we actually move forward.  The path we take in life and a continuous motion forward, we cannot look to, or depend on others to get us there.

Right now I am in the middle of making plans on FY2012.  As I look to my near future, I find it disturbing to see that all the things I need and want to do are the very things I fear doing most.  These aren't complex issues, but they do require me to adjust how I operate.

It's difficult to look at ourselves.  No I don't mean in a mirror.  I mean really look at ourselves.  Exposing our flaws and calling them out as such.  I am probably one of the most self aware people around.  I am far from delusional about who I am or how I come off to others.  This being one of my flaws.

During 2012 I have a lot of changes that I must overcome.  I must change a few fundamental things about me that I have hung onto dearly for many years now.  These traits have served me well for my years in service, but now I find that they are not working in my best interest anymore.

I know that who we are cannot change overnight, and as I work on these issues a little every day, I feel the fear of the "unknown" creeping in.  Maybe fear is overstated, but certainly anxiety fits the bill.  I wonder if we can truly change the depths of who we have grown to become in a short amount of time.  I wonder if by our nature, this is recommended.

As I focus my time on being a better me for the greater good of my future, putting my anxiety to the side, I am hoping I will find the energy somewhere to fulfill all of the vast goals I have for 2012.  I do believe that my shooting for the stars should always be the goal.  This year, I have high bets on myself.  Do you?